HOE TALES!

HOE TALE: EPISODE 1 

So, I was visiting my friend the other day, and she read a twitter thread I made about losing my virginity.(i’ll link it here) . She gave me this great idea to write about my dates/hookups like I did with the thread. So here I am! Here to write about my hoe adventures being a young homo in LA! Hopefully, I can keep this updated and interesting lol. I’m usually at home, so this is going have to take some effort on my part! Without further ado here’s a little hoe stories of my first hookup.

 

Last summer, I was really hoping that I would find a boyfriend. That was like my ultimate goal was to find a man.So, I met this boy at breakfast with my family and I like randomly saw him on Grindr the next day. We messaged for like a couple hours, then started texting each other right away. At first, I’m thinking like every single young gay teen….that he’s “the one” but little do I know, I was going to end up sucking his dick in his car. I’m getting ahead of myself. Okay so, after a lot of cancelled dates/hang outs I was kind of really over him. This random day, I’m spending the night at my best friends house and I get this text at like 10pm…and guess who it is. THE FUCKING BOY.  I really didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I reply super vague. He asks if I want to hang out. I respond liketumblr_mop9fjKDGB1ql5yr7o1_500

He texts me that he’s coming to get me in 10 mins and I look a fucking mess.

My skin: greasy

My ass: stanky

So, I’m sprinting to get my ass in check and he texts me “im outside lol”

Me: tumblr_mw694fGEzw1ql5yr7o1_500

I get to his car and we say hello, and he’s just as cute as I thought he would be. I’m so fucking nervous that I just nod and smile at everything. Kali Uchis is playing on the radio and I started to feel at ease. He tells me he’s gonna drive to this place he usually goes to with his friends. Bitch tell me why we roll up to a fucking random ass neighborhood. I’m literally thinking to myself “THIS IS NOT A DATE.” After, he goes “wanna smoke?” I literally at this point was so nervous. I smoked and my mouth was all fucking dry. He was super nervous or super not down because he kept looking at me and not trying to kiss me. Finally, his ass unbuckles his seat belt and we start full on macking it. My bold ass starts grabbing his dick and goes down to suck it. MIND YOU, I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SUCKED A DICK BEFORE.

I’m really out here like this

giphy-3

I sucked his dick thinking about how it really isn’t that bad. BIG MOMMA THANG by Lil’ Kim is playing and I’m feeling myself. I’m definitely throwing lips to this shit. Remember that we’re in a neighborhood, so a car drove past and he literally got so fucking scared. He looked like those cats that get electrocuted. His ass pulled those pants up so fucking fast and went “oh my god we gotta go” He drove up and I went back to sucking his dick. He finally cums, and pulls his pants up. Then, I’m like “YAY! I finally sucked a dick” This boy pulls my shorts down and starts going in. His mouth was so dry and I was so nervous that I was paying attention to Lil Kim that I couldn’t even enjoy it. 5 mins into the blowjob and I stopped him, and said “It’s okay”. I pulled my shorts back up and we kissed. He took me back to my friends house, and I’m literally going over what just happened in my head. I didn’t cum. All I did was suck dick and smoke weed. I tell my best friend and she looks and me and goes “You’re so nasty go wash your mouth out.”

Im out here thinking to myself….I didn’t even cum.

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Moral of the story is….make sure you cum.

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One Comment

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  1. FAGGOT ASS KILL YOURSELF

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